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When I was six, my family was driving on a highway late at night. Streaks of headlights and taillights painted the dark. For the first time, I realized that each car held people living lives as important to them as mine was to me.
I wanted to know what those lives were, and to share my own. So come on in, grab a cuppa, and let’s converse!
And thinking and thinking, and then thinking some more. And yet, if you ask me what I’m thinking, I’d be very hard-pressed to express what, exactly, I’m thinking. Much of it is beneath the level of language…like I’m standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon on a moonless night, aware of the ledge and the vastness beyond, but not able to describe the shape and size and scope of it.
Something’s changing; shifting inside me. I feel a depth of possibility opening in front of me. I’m oddly excited, for reasons I can’t quite name. I’m anticipating whatever’s to come, at the same time I feel a little apprehensive at how I’m going to change…
Because I know that I am. I can feel it coming. Hiding from it would only make me miserable.
Have you ever felt this way?
I can’t say much more than this- that I’m on the brink of something, something big. I may go quiet for a while; this blog might change and shuffle. I may make changes- small and larger – in my life. Almost for sure, my priorities and focuses are going to shift.
I can see the shape and shadow of it now. In time, it’ll solidify into a bona-fide reality.
From the nebulous, the concrete.
Maybe it’s a December thing. I’ve been reviewing my quarterly and annual goals, and considering what I’ve accomplished, what remains, what still matters, and what can be let go or set aside until a more opportune time. I’m begining to formulate a rough plan for next year and beyond. I’ve also been doing some intensive research and learning on several topics, and that’s feeding into what’s shifting in me and the way I see these things.
When I was younger, I tried to rush these times. As soon as I had the feeling, and it pointed toward a certain direction, I’d fly off that way, without further thought, unwilling to be dissuaded, even if I knew I was utterly unprepared. And, more often than not, I would fail, and tell myself that I wasn’t meant for anything more or better than that.
Now I wait. I stand on the shore, ans watch the tide of change rising. I keep learning, even when I start to see the direction I’ll be moving. I use that vision to clarify what I need to learn, and then I plan some basic steps that will prepare me to move forward – the same way an expert surfer waxes her board, dons her wetsuit, and checks the weather conditions before she gives herself to that perfect wave…
I’m poised, but not idle. I’m watchful, and energized, and making ready.
If you’ve had that sense of coming transformation, what do you do? Do you dive in? Turn around and go back to your comfort zone? Lose yourself in preparations? Something completely different? Drop a comment in the box below, if you’re so inclined – I’d love to chat!
